When I was a wee child, I had a friend. I lived (and still live) about a minute away from a park that had a sweet playground, as well as a field for freestyle playing. My friend and I would frequent the park with my mother in tow and we would play to our heart’s content. All the while, there was a menace lurking. And that, my dear readers, was cars. These cars would speed past the park with no care for my precious, young life.
Being the activist I was, I took it upon myself to stop these monsters. My friend and I, we marched back to my house. We unrolled the giant roll of paper my dad got from work (for free!). We broke out my best markers. Oh yes, we set out to strike fear into the hearts of careless drivers with one simple sign. “SLOW DOWN PLEASE” it was to say. And so it did. We poured our hearts into this sign, thinking that not only would drivers slow down the second they saw it, but they would never speed through a park zone...ever again.
I really don’t remember what it looked like exactly, but I have a feeling that we didn’t take real visibility into account. We probably used pink and yellow highlighters or something, on the white paper with no black outline. I know now that there’s no way this would have worked, but whatever, I loved the sign at the time. At best, people would have slowed down just to try and read it.
This is one of the more noble things I did with my childlike charm. I usually used my charisma to get out of trouble. This need to banish speeders has permeated my adult life, mostly at this same park. I slam on the brakes for speeders behind me, and flash my high beams at speeders in the other direction. The part I like most about the high beam tactic, is that those silly vehicle wielders think I am being helpful, but no, I have a higher purpose. I can only hope that one day my wise ways will be passed down to future generations.
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