Memory Monday: Ellie the Elephant

I recently changed the wallpaper of my computer from an amazing picture of bookshelves to this cute picture of elephants which I found on a blog I follow.

                            

Elephants are my second favorite favorite animal (number one would be a dragonfly). There are many reasons for this. They are like no other animals in that they are old looking but still adorable. They are then huge. I like animals which are either really big, or really small, because its such different from the size from a human. And then I also have a knack for making a sound which sounds an a lot like an elephant (so I’m told). Anyways. My love with elephants began the Christmas I won Ellie...

My grandparents owned a cabin in at the base of Mount Baker that was located in what is best described as a community trailer park for Canadians. It was fantastic there.There was an indoor and outdoor pool, tons of roads to chalk on, few hills so we could bike everywhere, and a river to swim in. Good times.

Every year, two weeks before Christmas, the community would have a christmas party at the hall where Santa would arrive in all his glory in a police escort car, lights flashing and sirens going, to give presents to all the kids there. We would line up, sit on his lap, tell him what we would like for Christmas, and then receive a small gift. Next, a dinner was served, and the night ended with Christmas carols sang BEAUTIFULLY by everyone. And raffle prizes were given out. 

In 1998 I was in grade 3. Santa arrived in his usual fashion and we gathered around to receive our gifts. I got a peace-sign necklace on a chain. Real hard core and cool for my youthful age. We then had dinner and they began to pull raffle tickets. What was special about this year was that I WON A RAFFLE PRIZE.

It was ridiculous. A stuffed elephant that was a meter tall and over a meter long. It was stuffed so well that it was able to stay standing on its own. I was stoked and my love for elephants bloomed. I named her Ellie. She stayed in my room, but I would often drag her out to play house, where she would be the pet dog (because no one has a pet elephant). 

But soon I outgrew large stuffed animals and sold her in a garage sale. I kinda regret it, as she was the closest thing to a pet I have ever had. But the times we had together were memorable. And we will always have those.

Doodle Maker

So I finally got some doodles up, just ones Kyla and I did in class and shtuff but this one I thought deserved an explanation. 

Brittny was entertaining me while I was cleaning my room one day. She has a Mac, Im still loyal to PC so I have Paint :) Who doesn't love Paint? Anyways, this is what I got as my wallpaper from Brittny waiting for me to finish cleaning.

 Her explanation:

"All the things hate you Casey for having a messy room."

Ta daaa.

How to Thursday: How to turn Life into a Drinking Game

I swear I am not a drunk…but many times I seriously wonder why I haven’t turned into one yet. So many opportunities have come up lately where the situation would be so much more epic if it were a drinking game.

Example : American Literature

Kyla and I take this class together. As a reading nerd, the class itself isn’t terrible but there are some real wierdos; Giggles McGee, Glasses and Professor Um.

Giggles McGee: This guy who giggles like a little school girl after random comments are made by the prof or during group/class discussion. The kicker is he doesn’t laugh if someone says something that is actually funny.

Glasses: The most annoying person on earth; well on Mondays and Wednesdays at least. She touches her glasses about 5 million times a class, doesn’t shut up about being in French classes and changes the subject of the conversation.

           

Professor Um: The prof. Shes actually hilarious and a good prof but will get caught up in the conversation she is apparently having in her head and will blank out in the middle of explaining something and all she can utter is umm…umm…umm.

Here is a typical dialogue of this class:

Prof Um:  Emerson was seen as a champion of individualism…

Giggles: hee hee

Prof Um: ummm … and a prescient critic of the countervailing pressures of society.

Giggles: hee hee

Prof Um: ummm....ummmm...uh...ummm .....He disseminated his thoughts through dozens of published essays.

Glasses: Excuse me professor, I was going to say something about that but his essays reminded me of this one time * touches glasses * in my French class * touches glasses * ….bla bla bla everyone tunes out.

Giggles: hee hee

Prof Um: Well yes infact….ummm….well …ummm….ummm…ummm….ummmm

Giggles: Hee hee

So you get the point.

The other day, Kyla and I decided that this class would be an epic drinking game. After my descriptions of the crazies in this class I am sure you can picture it but here are our rules.

American Lit Gongshow Rules:

1)   Take a drink every time Giggles McGee snickers.

a.     Finish your drink if it was actually something funny.

2)   Take a drink every time Glasses mauls her namesake.

3)   Take a drink every time Prof Um stutters.

4)   Take a drink every time Glasses mentions French class.

a.     Finish your drink if she pronounces something obviously intended to be English in a hideous French accent.

                                               i.     Ex. Beeeeb-lee-ee-o-og-gra-phee(Bibliography)

5)   Take a drink if Glasses starts her sentence with “I was concerned about…”

a.     Finish your drink if she changes the subject.

Moral of the story is, if your day is super boring or you have someone super annoying around you, think out some rules and keep a tally of the number of shots you will owe yourself...or you can always drink in public :)

Happy Thursday!

Memory Monday : The Advocacy of Not Dying

     When I was a wee child, I had a friend. I lived (and still live) about a minute away from a park that had a sweet playground, as well as a field for freestyle playing. My friend and I would frequent the park with my mother in tow and we would play to our heart’s content. All the while, there was a menace lurking. And that, my dear readers, was cars. These cars would speed past the park with no care for my precious, young life.

     Being the activist I was, I took it upon myself to stop these monsters. My friend and I, we marched back to my house. We unrolled the giant roll of paper my dad got from work (for free!). We broke out my best markers. Oh yes, we set out to strike fear into the hearts of careless drivers with one simple sign. “SLOW DOWN PLEASE” it was to say. And so it did. We poured our hearts into this sign, thinking that not only would drivers slow down the second they saw it, but they would never speed through a park zone...ever again.

     I really don’t remember what it looked like exactly, but I have a feeling that we didn’t take real visibility into account. We probably used pink and yellow highlighters or something, on the white paper with no black outline. I know now that there’s no way this would have worked, but whatever, I loved the sign at the time. At best, people would have slowed down just to try and read it.

     This is one of the more noble things I did with my childlike charm. I usually used my charisma to get out of trouble. This need to banish speeders has permeated my adult life, mostly at this same park. I slam on the brakes for speeders behind me, and flash my high beams at speeders in the other direction. The part I like most about the high beam tactic, is that those silly vehicle wielders think I am being helpful, but no, I have a higher purpose. I can only hope that one day my wise ways will be passed down to future generations.

How To Thursday : How To Eat A Muffin

Recently in history class, the guy sitting beside me went and got a muffin during the break. But this isn’t the big news. What is big is the manner in which he went about eating this muffin. This joke of a potential historian broke off the muffin top, ate it, and then proceeded to take off the wrapper to eat the less-tasty-but-still-yummy bottom. Fail.

I thought eating a muffin was a pretty simple process. But clearly it is up to me to explain to the rest of humanity how to go about this. 

STEP ONE: 

Buy a muffin

  

STEP TWO: 

Some people might think this is when you pull off the muffin top. WRONG. (Rookie mistake guy beside me, rookie mistake). The second step is taking off the paper cup. If you pull the muffin top off before peeling off the paper, the paper will not peel off as easily. 

STEP THREE:

Now is the time to pull off the muffin top. Pretty self-explanatory. If looking for further directions, you don’t deserve the muffin, or you need to watch more Seinfeld. 

STEP FOUR:

Eating a muffin in public is difficult. Its not a sandwich, so the two handed attempt doesn’t apply, and its not a granola bar, so it looks weird if you just take a giant bite off. What is required is breaking off a smaller piece and eating that. 

So now you know. 

Because you were thinking it the whole time.

Hope your Thursday is going well :)

And so it begins...

     Greetings world, this is of course working on the assumption that the entire world is interested in the goings on in three magnificent broads’ lives. This blog is a dump site for everything hilarious that we think of. There is a lot of it, so this is going to be like the biggest land fill of hilarity. Ever. For awhile, we have discussed the many things of what we would be good at, what things we could make, as well as things we could invent, which we will probably never get to, someone else will invent, get rich and we will remain the poor souls with minimal jobs. But what we have followed through on is this blog. This is our viral outlet to vent about people, share our doodles, tell stories of how mean we are to our friends, how ridiculous our jobs can be and just any other cool things we come across.
     More importantly, us. I imagine this introduction to be like the profiles of bachelorettes on The Dating Game, when that cheesy announcer tells the captivated audience about the dull people they’ll be watching, but in a really interesting way. So please, read the rest of this paragraph in that voice.
     Here’s Casey...she loves orange, horses, hot cocoa and long walks on the beach. She’s a 20 year old Libra who works with Special Needs kids. What a gal!
     And heeeeere’s Kyla. She’s the best server you’ll ever have and don’t be surprised if she woos you with her patented Riesen face. This little filly is 21 years old and wanted to be a dentist when she grew up, until she thought about how freaky teeth were.
     Then there’s Brittny (that's me), only the best person you’ll ever meet. Incredibly modest, but beyond wonderful, she is the light in everyone’s lives. When she was born, she popped out saying, “You’re welcome.” Although she has a knack for disliking children, she is confident she was the coolest kid on the block. And that’s who you’ll be reading about on this humble little blog.