So due to the fact that I just realized that it’s Monday, this is going to be a really boring MM. Sorry.
One Halloween while my mom and I were getting out all of our decorations she found this fake knife that had a blade that went into the handle. So like, if you put any pressure on it, it just went inside the handle rather than into your flesh.
And she’s all “oh, what a nice moment, I’m spending time with my super awesome kid, how about I ruin it right now.” Convinced that stabbing herself was a good idea she stares at me with menacing eyes and slams the knife into her hand with startling force. Now, being about 5 or 6 years old, I did not know that this wasn’t a real knife. So I cried. A lot. And wouldn’t stop. Because my mother had practically just attempted suicide in front of me. What a jerk.
I think one day, as revenge, I will invest in some of those fake needles and pretend I’m hooked on heroin. Suck on that.
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