Here we are my friends. After four months of not posting, this is what you are being blessed with...
My dear friend, Lesia (Kyla's sister) had the idea to go to the auditions for The Bachelor Canada. I was immediately supportive of this. Let's be real, this is the opportunity of a lifetime. Worst case, you spend the day downtown and you see some crazy people.
We got to the hotel where they were holding the auditions around 9:15, Lesia had talked to the hotel the day before and during their conversation they told her they were expecting 200-400 people to show up, and that they would probably be there super early. False. Lesia was 10th in line. So we stood outside in the bitter cold for about an hour and a half, which was stupid. My toes were so numb, walking seemed like a whole new adventure.
The set up was a little strange, because we were just standing in an almost single file line on the sidewalk, so I couldn't really see a lot of the potential "stars". I expected for everyone to be corralled into a conference room to wait or something, but no such luck. I could see to the front of the line though, where there was a funny faced girl with poofy hair, a couple girls with hair so bleached it looked white and brittle. There was a man. He was hoping to either be like, "The Bachelor" or one of the contestants on a future season. Uhhh, good luck? He was nice, but just no. The girl in front of us was super nice, I think she might have a good shot. We got to see people walking to the end of the line, no one really notable. Except two super sluts, one in a piece of leopard print fabric, the other with everything pushed up and in, in a ridiculously low cut red dress. Ugh.
And then there was Luwanda*. I have such a disdain for her that is no where near rational, but I don't care. As a bit of a back story, there was a reporter from the Globe & Mail interviewing some random girls and she chose to interview Luwanda. Things I learned about her from the reporter's thought provoking questions :
- she has bad breath.
- she is an entrepreneur (read : unemployed).
- she has been married before.
- she might be an alcoholic, she talked about wine a few times.
- she looks old.
- her hair is weird.
One of the questions the reporter asked her was "Luwanda, what are you wearing today?", and since she was wearing a coat, we couldn't actually see what it was (She did show the reporter her outfit, but I coudn't see). Her reply : "Uhhhm, Aritzia. Liiiike a white top and blazerrrrr." Uh, hey...Luwanda? One of the few things written on the main page for the application process is "Please avoid wearing white, black, busy patterns, and clothing with logos." You blatantly wore one of the specific things they told you not to wear, you simple bitch.
I wasn't allowed inside or anything, so I only got my impressions from the lineup, which was fun. I always forget how judgmental I can be until I'm in situations like this. I feel like I was probably judged as well though, because I was wearing jeans, flats, a scarf, a coat, my hair was in a crappy ponytail and I had minimal makeup on. If anyone thought I was actually auditioning, they were probably stoked to have such easy competition.
*Names have been changed to protect them...and myself from being sued or punched in the face by them.
